Short jokes
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
What do you call a fat Mexican rat?
Rasmus.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.
Also dwarf: can’t see.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.
What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.