Short jokes
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
My favorite Pixar film: Wall-E.
His favorite drink was his dribble.
BAD!!!!!!
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Yeoooo.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
Dodo.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.