Short jokes
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
He he he.
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
Ligma.
Balls.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.