Short jokes
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
He he he.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
Ligma.
Balls.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
Which category is glory in?
Cats.
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!