Short jokes
Whoever made WorstJokesEver is going to hell.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"