Short jokes
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Nope, nope, and nope.
I hop on Clash Royale. I see Mega Knight. I cry.
Like if you hate the Mega Knight from Clash Royale because I really, really hate it so much!
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
Your dad has a huge PP.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?