Short jokes
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
Me and the boys are cool.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
"Ow! You hit the spot!"
Chimichanga.
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
What happens at the orphanage be like:
The orphans: “HE IS THE MESSIAH!”
Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?
Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.