Short jokes
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.
Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.