Short jokes
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
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Why can't Asians play cricket?
Because they will eat the ball.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
I wonder how many people read this wrong.
9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.