Short jokes
Hey, Britain, no queen? :(
Hey, America. No towers? :(
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
You know what I told my little brother plane?
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?
Panera Lead.
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.