Short jokes
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
Am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do Mexicans eat tacos?
Because they're border hoppers.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.