Short jokes
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do Mexicans eat tacos?
Because they're border hoppers.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
Joke Tide.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
Spell fuzz.
Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."