Short jokes
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
Yo mamma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
Does that dick match that forehead? π
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
I feel like the Twin Towers, Iβm broken.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!