Short jokes
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
How do you finger a feminist? Shake her hand and call her Theresa.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
I bet you love prostate exams because you live things up your ass.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?
"Get off me, homes!"
What's 2 + 2? A: 22.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
My dick is longer than your life.
The homophobes writing these jokes.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!