Short jokes
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
Quiz: Turn what for what?
A joke.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.