Short jokes
What did one arm say to the other? "What is your address?"
Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.
What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.
Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
2+2=7
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.