Short jokes
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
"Orla Doyle is fit."
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.