Short jokes

I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3

If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?

What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"

Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

When do you take a cow to the movies?

On a mooo-vie!

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"

Let's taco about something.

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.

What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

Oofer.