Short jokes
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head.
Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said, "I'm gay!"
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
I am a sheep.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Why did I shoot my dog?
Because it pissed me offff! Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha! 👌👌😎
Yesnt.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.