Short jokes
I thought fruit tasted good. I guess I was wrong.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
What is a dog with only two legs? A human.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
What is a great 👍 for?
Fun.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.
What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!
I hate straight people.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.