Short jokes
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
Why did the hobo go back to the future?
To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Why was the elephant woozy?
Because he was trunk.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
Johnathon
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
If you have a broken bone, do you have broken skin?
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.
Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?
Answer: Your brain.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.