Short jokes
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Bruh.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
(l=====8
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
All of us.
Would you like a piece of Africa?
Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.