Short jokes

Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?

It was family friendly.

Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?

Because she had none of the above.

How can you save a depressed person from a tree?

You cut the rope.

Why can't two Asians make a white baby?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

What did the bee say to the other bee?

Moo.

British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.

Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.

Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.

LAMO.

Why did the orphan cross the ride?

I forgot.

First human comes.

Sans: That was pun intended.

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

So I was walking.

Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.

I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"

One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.

Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?

Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...

I think Jesus is broken.

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

Hodor.

Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.