Short jokes
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
Please drop a like.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
What's bald and can't grow no hair?
A kid with cancer.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
Dinosaurs be like:
".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."
What is a good night sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk home from school and walk home and walk home from home and walk home and get a good night walk and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from...
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
What is a difference between a tree? Tree 🌲 was the day you get.