Short jokes
My bad, I kick me bad in if balls, and he got so fucking mad.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
best friend makes 9/11 joke.
you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."
best friend: "I'm sorry."
you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Real Pokémon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
The Chaaaaaaaaaampioooooooooons!
I have the best joke:
"You."
Yo mama so stupid, she couldn't comment on this website because she didn't know the 2x4 check!
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.