Short jokes
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Mike Oxlong.
Guys, if y'all don't stop making hatred stuff, I'm contacting admin.
Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?
Tamlito.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.