Short jokes
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)
You're the reason the middle finger got created.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.