Short jokes

Short jokes

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?

They both light up the room.

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.

What’s the opposite of an exorcism?

It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.

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  • What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

    You fix both with a coat hanger.

    What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

    Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

    What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!

    Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.

    Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?

    The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.