Short jokes
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
Why don’t orphans have parents?
'Cause they were abandoned.
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
I have a joke about lazy people!
Actually... forget it... it won't work.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
You're as useless as Stevie Wonder's eyes!
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her: