Shooting jokes
Shoot.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
You need to fuck off with this website. It's shit.
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
The joke is this website.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.