Shooting jokes
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
You need to fuck off with this website. It's shit.
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
The joke is this website.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.