Shes jokes

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.

I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.

My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”

My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.