Shes jokes

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...

She said nothing.

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was hit by a bus.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.

The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.

A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.

On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."

On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.

Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.

Yo mama is so fat, she got mixed up with Godzilla!

Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

I told my sister a Dairy joke.

She said it was cheesy.