Shes

Shes jokes

Crab

My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!

Cannibal

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

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  • Rape

    My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

    Memes

    Mama

    Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

    Physics

    My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

    Mama

    Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...

    Marriage

    A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

    Bus

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    Because she was hit by a bus.

    Girl

    What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

    We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

    Doctor

    A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.

    The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.

    Alexa

    I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

    Emo

    My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

    Banana

    What did the banana say to the vibrator?

    "Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

    Motorcycle

    When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

    See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

    Mom

    When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.