She jokes

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

Your mama is so fat.

She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.

Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.

Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE.

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.

When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."

Mom: "No?"

"Like in heaven?" said the mother.

"No, juice," Sally said.

The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."

Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!