She jokes

Sex

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

Puppy

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Momma

Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.

Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.

Silence...................punch!

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she farted, Big Shaq took off his jacket.

Memes

Mama

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

Mama

Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.

Helen Keller

Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?

Because she was wearing mittens.

Mum

Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.

Liar

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

Orphan

Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?

Person: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes?

Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?

Orphan: MOTHER!

Person: Let's go home!

Orphan: Uhhhh

*She was never to be seen again*

Video Game

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Muslim

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

Momma

Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Funeral

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.