She jokes
Yo momma is so hungry that she ate your peanuts!
Why did Ms. Grapes ð want to marry Mr. Grapes ð?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
Why is Mrs. Grapes ð a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "ðķHead, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!ðķ"
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.