So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
Nutty.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
What is the most useless part of a vagina?
The woman.
penis balls cum <3
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
