Sex

Sex jokes

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"

Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"