Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: my grandma walk in while I was knife raping my wife.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and the begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down the the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, loling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more. When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying,” Linda your just as amazing at fucking at your sister.”
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
2 people about to have sex realise they have no lube. In their desperate, horny haste they looked for the nearest Downy and asked it " speak into my hand. "
Upon their return to the bed they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and you grandma says “I’m not dead..”
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
Sex
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom and they bought pads. The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no and her mom fainted
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Mustarbation it's better than rough sex.
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
