Sex jokes
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
Nancy, the throat goat!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.