If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
dear doctor
ive heard its a good sign when women scream your first name during sex but recently women have been screaming my full name. its weird, i feel like im famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly Ray Palp
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
A Good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God. Itâs like masturbation. Sometimes itâs not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. Thatâs what thighjobs are for.
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wifeâs clit. Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
Itâs nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips đ„°. Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when Iâm thrusting đ. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partnerâs ding dong đ„”.
The woman body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles while her head can be seen as the head of a penis. This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, itâs shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit look like the schlong.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your pđnis." đ„°
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me âMommyâ at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up đ.
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate. Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so called ârise in teen pregnancy.â
Why God did create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people, and less fun.
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didnât know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husbandâs joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husbandâs schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think Iâll be screwed by you for more of that, youâre out of your mind."
What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? Sheâs gonna eat me!
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and youâre in deep shit.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
When a deaf person haves sex do they use one hand to moan
Last night I had sex and she said stop talking about shit omg and I made her scream so loud she said her balls Hurt...
