Sex jokes

I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.

There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.

Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...

So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"

The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."

So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?

Marriage.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.

Are you the twin towers?

Because I want to crash inside of you.

It's important to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Nah, he got nailed...