New Sex Jokes - Page 14 - Worst Jokes Ever

Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.

What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?

Rrrrrapeit!

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

I heard you were looking for a stud...

I already have the STD; all I need is you.

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!