Sex jokes
I have two eyes and am afraid of sex.
A Fortnite player.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
Well, the "HOLE" story is, I shoved it up her hole.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.
When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.
Then it clicked.
"Ah, so that's how you died."
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
I suck dick.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
*funny joke about dicks*
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.