Sex jokes
Son - Dad, I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class.
Dad - Son, that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Heh heh, get it? 69! Ha ahahaha!
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
Pussy, no pussy.
Kaden wants to have sex with you.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.