How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Sex Jokes
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Heh heh, get it? 69! Ha ahahaha!
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
Pussy, no pussy.
Kaden wants to have sex with you.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Suc my dic
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
