Sex jokes
What's the point of sex when you're gay?
Because only gay people jerk off.
What is Sophia’s favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
My d*ck is hard, what's your name?
My dick is hard, what's your name?
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
Closer kin, deeper in!
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).