Sex jokes

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

What hangs low?

Balls.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.

A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.

My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.

Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.

How do you sex?

With penis!

Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!

What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.

Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.

What's the point of sex when you're gay?

Because only gay people jerk off.

What is Sophia’s favourite song?

"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

At least when I fucked it.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

My d*ck is hard, what's your name?

My dick is hard, what's your name?

Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.

What do you call skeletons having sex?

When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.

Closer kin, deeper in!