Sense jokes
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt?
Because he wanted it to smell good.
Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!