Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet
I wonder if the titanic still sells fish?
What do kids and drugs have in common , I sell both of the
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables? Sells the wheelchair.
ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar,hey said sorry we don't sell food her
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe a hoe can wash her crack and sell it again
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say 'Thank God' and to stop the horse, to say ' Hallelujah'. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch.
Because it was over 10 years old.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme? I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good so he started selling it to taco bell then ate a cow all the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then game them some toe jam they loved it so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam it was so good then one of the aliens ate there dog so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
Why did the titanic sink because he saw a iceberg selling candy
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I'll f--ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don't have any money. She says ok I'll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was “remarkable.”
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell em for double the price!
Why can’t you sell nans but you can sell zebras ?
I killed 5 orphan's and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
