Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
Sell Jokes
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
Why can’t you sell nans, but you can sell zebras?
