Sell jokes

Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.

He one day said his business was "remarkable."

Sell PC.

Go to Croatia.

Try to fly to the US to meet female.

US won't let me in.

End up in Norway.

Female leaves me.

Female gets arrested by feds.

Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.

Just another day in the defib life.

Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!

What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?

Sells the wheelchair.

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"

This is why they don't want to sell the Double Manhattan in pubs anymore.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.

My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"

I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.

What's the difference between drugs and kids?

I don't sell drugs.

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.

What does the Titanic sell most?

Icebreakers.

Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.