Self Harm jokes

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because it's a battlefield.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso expresso.

JK, bleach.

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*

My joke is:

My life.

Wanna hear somethin' ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

what's flat and great for cutting? me.

Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.

Why?

So it would cut itself.

Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.