a man walks into a bar he see's a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer, he gets on his hands and knees and prays to god out loud, the bar tender says, why are you praying? He says, because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Scroll down to see.
To get to the other side! haha so funny...
Dark Humor: Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap Son: Mom, I'm blind Mom: Exactly Inspired by my derp other half
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud)
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
when i shit in the toliet i think that if shit hard anuff I can see my asshole plug.
A blind man walked into me at a store i said "watch it bitch" and he said "sorry i didn't see you there."
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why do orphans want to die Because they might see there parents in heaven
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him I felt disappointment
i just donated 100$ to a blind children charity, suck that no one will see it
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist
Me: I'm depressed so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Not a joke but still dc
I was going from Germany to Austria and I accidentally crossed the border Illegally when the poliece caught me they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them y? they said I didn't see the border
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar. They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements. The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.” The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.” The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why Did The Skeleton Have No Friends? He Was A Boner! Heheheh! Ah, See Ya Soon Kiddo. Im Goin On Break. Ill Give You Some Fried Snow Later!
