Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
