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Virus

  • The streets go blank in the dead of the day, not a car to be seen.

    A kingdom of corona-cation, and it looks like mom's the queen.

    The wind is howling with this virus in the air.

    Couldn't keep it in China, everyone knows it's everywhere.

    Don't let friends in, don't be afraid.

    Be the good girl you always have to be.

    Conceal, don't feel your insanity, that the virus caused!

    Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors!

    I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friend's house.

    Sickness doesn't get to me anyway.

    It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane, and the fears that once controlled me are here and present, oh well!

    It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through!

    No right, no wrong, but stay inside!

    WE'RE NOT FREE!!

    Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! 'Cause I have nothing better to do.

    The virus flurries through the air into my house!

    The storm is spiraling, fear and fractals all around!!

    And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!!

    What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past????

    DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.

  • 9
  • God

  • *Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*

  • 2
  • Kid

  • A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

    I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

  • 1
  • Terrorist

  • Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

    The terrorists both say, "A beer."

    The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

    One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

  • 2
  • Cigarette

  • A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

    The next day, he could see only one color... black.

  • 0
  • Face

  • If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

    Depression

  • Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

    Me: Seeing others happy.

    Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?

    Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.

    Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.

    Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...

    Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?

    Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".

  • 1
  • Name

  • A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.

    Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

    "No, I named myself," she answered.

    "Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

    "Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

    ‘BJ Titsngolf’

  • 8
  • Dick

  • "My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

    Monkey

  • Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was dead.

    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was also dead.

    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

    Monkey see, monkey do.

    Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was stapled to the first one.

  • 0
  • Girl

  • Normal girl stating her opinion.

    My name is Jade Harris. I don’t know if you guys know it, but “rape” jokes are really starting to get sexist and could lead to people getting raped. IT IS MY OPINION PEOPLE DON’T HATE ME! 😡. People are talking about how men are better than women, but men and women are both good. Someone posted about how they hate the media being about women and other bull crap, but fuck it, I hate the media being about both genders. And people sound like fucking rapists here!!! Some boy did story time and then said women are weak and I can rape a women if I feel like it and shit! But no one knows what it feels like to be a women? Only women do. 😠. Women have to have kids with men of course, but it is hard to be a like that. 1. We grow up just the same as men, and men don’t always get judged for dressing except for that stupid pants were we can see your underwear shit, which is pt style. Women are the ones who pay the bills, lose half of there energy and MOST of the time take care of the kids and work for a living men do too. But women get raped and harassed and molested and sexual assaulted/battery/abuse, and when a women wants to dress up how she feels she gets slut shamed for it. So really being a women is harder will being both genders are. Facts!!!

    Sister

  • Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

    Friend B: "I was until last night."

    Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

    Friend B: "Your sister."

    Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

    Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

  • 0
  • Insult

  • Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

    "I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣