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Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?

Yeah, it went on and on.

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.

Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.

Oh . . .

:(

Continue.

I told a blind kid, "See you later!"

I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.

What do you call a nazi that can’t see?

A nozi.

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?

He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:

Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂

Me: I'm afraid of random letters.

Therapist: You are?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh, I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.

The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.