If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."
See Jokes
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't see home.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
