Wheres is the candy Sir??? Over there. (kid steps in van) I don't see any candy.
I took a plain to go see my hairline.
A: Why are you so sad? B: I was watching porn and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie
Why did the orphan cross the road Not to see his parents
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
if someone wears black say "If you see someone wears black , they always be emo
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
to see his closest relatives
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former soviet union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
A cop pulls a man over and finds out hes drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says ̈Can i see your flashlight? ̈ and the cop says ̈just give me your license and registration. ̈ so drunk guy says ̈not until you give me your flashlight. ̈ the cop said ̈for what? ̈ and the drunk guy says ̈so i can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like. ̈
hello everyone, I would just like to apoligize for participating in the protest, and everything else I said. I was wrong, and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny, I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
So one day i have a wife but if its getting a longer day she is moving so weird and i see she has sex with rick astley😂 [rickrolled]
Your mama so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept
why cant orphans play baseball
cause they cant see home
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off? He's all right now
why does the kids cant see their parents because they dont have one
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
me before: why do bandanas exist they ugly me after seeing ur hairline: oh i seee me giving pro tip: get a bandana LMAO
Why did the child die? To see god our father
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
