Seconds jokes
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.