Sea jokes
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.
The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.