Sea jokes
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
What do mermaids use to write with?
Sea pens.
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
Tides right?
That’s why the nickname for your hairline is the Red Sea.
What happened to watersharky?
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to drop some DEEP SEA RHYMES.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.