A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Stand? Wait. No.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
He is dead.
