What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Science Jokes
Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Why is the ocean blue?
A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
Uranus is pronounced "ur anus."
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
