Science jokes
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?
The wheels on the chair go round and round.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Why is the ocean blue?
A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.