Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
Uranus is pronounced "ur anus."
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
What's up?
A rocket from NASA.
OMG SO FUNNYY!
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
